


Deep Roots Never Doubt

by imamaryanne



Category: Baby-Sitters Club - Ann M. Martin, California Diaries - Ann M. Martin
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-27
Updated: 2020-09-18
Packaged: 2021-03-06 01:35:30
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 17,730
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25545244
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/imamaryanne/pseuds/imamaryanne
Summary: Byron Pike, now a senior in college, spends the week of spring break in California with his best friend (and the object of a secret crush) Jeff Schafer. Byron has no idea that Dawn has a plan to set him up, and that he'll spend most of that week falling for Ducky McCrae.
Relationships: Byron Pike/Ducky McCrae
Comments: 3
Kudos: 8





	1. Distance

**Author's Note:**

> Title is from a quote "The deep roots never doubt spring will come." 
> 
> I originally started this series for the LJ community Babysitters 100 many years ago, but I only got three chapters into it before giving up. I picked it back up, made a few changes to what has already been posted there and am finishing it here instead.
> 
> Each chapter takes place over one day in the spring break.

The entire plane ride from Connecticut to California, Byron Pike wondered why he had agreed to come. The answer was obvious; Jeff asked and there is very little that Jeff would ask of him that Byron would say no to. 

Still, spending a week during spring break in California with Jeff? Byron had made Jeff twist his arm a little to get him to agree. “C’mon Byron. It’s our last spring break of our lives. From here on out we’ll be working stiffs, spring break won’t mean a thing to us.” It was true. Byron’s options were to go to his parents’ home in Stoneybrook, stay by himself in his off-campus apartment at Southern Connecticut, or go to California with Jeff, whom he hadn’t seen since Christmas break. 

Of  _ course _ he chose to go with Jeff. It didn’t matter that long periods of time with Jeff were both torturous and fun all at once. Whenever possible, Byron would always choose to go where Jeff was. 

Byron knew how stupid he was being. He felt like such a stereotype, or at least what the straights expected a stereotype to be, to have a crush on his straight best friend. Jeff didn’t care that he was gay, he never had, and had been kinder about it than Adam and Jordan had been when they found out. 

Byron could never quite tell if Jeff knew. Byron came out to Jeff his senior year in high school and Jeff hadn’t flinched. He’d treated Byron exactly the same as he had before. That’s what made Jeff such an amazing friend. Twice when they’d gone on ski trips Byron overheard Jeff make a specific request to the hotel for a room with two beds. But Byron couldn’t figure out if that meant Jeff was wise to Byron’s true feelings. Maybe he just liked his space when he slept. 

The distance between them was large with Byron at Southern Connecticut and Jeff at University of Texas in Austin (his choice of college, neither east coast nor west coast, was seen by some, and correctly so, as a big  _ fuck you  _ to his parents for forcing a bicoastal lifestyle on him) but Jeff and Byron were always so close as friends. Byron was closer to Jeff than he was to either of his two identical brothers, and they had kept in touch through constant phone calls, emails, and texts their whole college careers. 

But the college careers were coming to an end soon, and Jeff would likely end up back in California and Byron would likely end up still on the east coast. Likely, but not positively. Byron was scared shitless to admit exactly how scared shitless he was at the prospect of having to start real adulthood. A job, rent, maybe a real relationship instead of a handful of guys he’d keep around for a week or a few weeks before they dissolved into nothing but friends with benefits. When he was being really honest with himself, Byron knew the more time he spent with Jeff, the less likely it was that he’d ever get over the hopeless crush, and the less likely it’d be that he’d ever find anyone to have a true relationship with.

________

“So we aren’t staying with your dad?” Byron asked Jeff as they made their way through the airport. 

“Nah,” Jeff answered. “Not this time. Dawn and Basil just moved into a new apartment. It has two bedrooms and they’re offering us the second bedroom. It’ll be more fun that way, not having to make nice with Dad and Carol and Gracie. Plus, they have a foosball table.” 

“Sure, I mean anything for foosball. Who’s Basil?”

“The boyfriend. He’s a pretty cool dude, definitely mellowed Dawn out a little. They just moved in together.”

“And they’re OK with us crashing there?”

“Totally.”

And it seemed like they were. Dawn greeted them happily, giving Byron an extra-long hug and pulling him into the living room to get the rundown of what was going on with the Pike family. Byron’s family was so big, it always took a while to get through everyone. After a half hour, the front door opened and Dawn’s boyfriend, Basil, walked in.

It would have been impossible for Byron not to notice how good-looking Basil was. A tall muscular man with dark skin and dreadlocks pulled back from his face with a rubber band, dangling halfway down his back. He had eyes that were so dark brown, they were nearly black, but with intriguing flecks of orange and green running through them. He smiled warmly as he was introduced to Byron. 

Another reason Byron wasn’t thrilled about spring break in California? He’d never really gotten used to the beach. Even as a kid, he’d been terrified of the ocean. The waves in the Pacific were far different than in Sea City, so Byron spent that first evening at the beach sitting in the sand, reading a book and watching Jeff surf. Jeff never bothered Byron to get in the water, which Byron was grateful for, and even cut his surf short because he was afraid of boring Byron. (Byron actually was fascinated by watching Jeff, tan and shirtless, maneuver a surfboard. Not that he’d ever admit it to Jeff.)

That night, Byron and Jeff went to the guest room to crash, and Byron stalled for a moment. There was only one bed in the room, a full size double bed. “I can sleep on the couch,” Byron immediately offered. 

“Why?” Jeff asked. 

“I just thought... ” Byron drifted off. “It just might be more comfortable for both of us. I’m a little bit of a bed hog.”

Jeff raised his eyebrows. “And who’ve  _ you _ been sharing a bed with who told you that you were hogging the bed?” he teased. 

Byron blushed. “It’s not that. I don’t know, I just don’t want you to be uncomfortable.” He thought of the two times he’d heard Jeff pointedly ask for two beds. 

Jeff smiled wryly at Byron. “I know I’m irresistible, but I think we’re good.” There was a hint of humor in his voice.

“Sure,” Byron mumbled as he rooted through his suitcase for a toothbrush. He was hiding his face from Jeff, so that Jeff couldn’t read his face. The truth is that ever since he was a kid, he woke up most mornings with morning wood, and he didn’t exactly want Jeff to see that and get the wrong idea. Byron climbed carefully into bed next to Jeff (the irony of finally getting what he’d always wanted wasn’t lost on him) and rolled over. He had this crush under control. Really. 


	2. Dinner

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dawn invites Ducky to dinner.

Sunday morning Byron awoke to a note next to him on the bed from Jeff that he’d gone for an early morning surf. Byron made his way out to the kitchen, Dawn and Basil were both out, and he hunted around for breakfast. He cursed himself for agreeing to stay with a couple of vegetarians, and finally settled on a bowl of Kashi cereal, a banana, and cup of coffee. He wondered as he ate it how close they were to the nearest McDonalds. 

He was showering when Jeff returned from the beach, and after Jeff’s shower they headed out. It was a relaxed day with Jeff making the obligatory visit to his parents house to take Gracie, also on her spring break from Vista, to Disneyland. Byron tagged along, he hadn’t been to Disney since he was nine years old. 

At one point, while waiting for Gracie to exit a ride, Jeff told him that Dawn and Basil were having some friends over for dinner. He shifted uncomfortably. “They invited this friend of theirs? He goes by Ducky?” Byron could tell how uncomfortable Jeff was by how he was ending all of his sentences as questions. “Um, he’s gay? And I think they might be trying to set you up?”

“What!” Byron exclaimed. “You didn’t agree to this, did you? And seriously, he goes by  _ Ducky?” _

“This was all Dawn. But he is a good friend of theirs, and he’s a nice guy. Don’t worry, you don’t have to fall in love with him. We won’t even have to see him after dinner tonight.”

Byron groaned, but what could he do? Ask Dawn and Basil not to invite this guy just because he happens to be gay and nicknamed Ducky?

______

At promptly seven o’clock that evening, the doorbell rang, and Dawn answered it. Byron was helping Jeff chop vegetables for a salad in the kitchen. He heard Dawn cry out, “Ducky!” and a few minutes later, Dawn led two men into the kitchen. 

“Ducky, Alex, this is Jeff’s friend Byron Pike. Byron, this is Ducky and Alex.”

Byron was relieved; Ducky had a boyfriend. Jeff must have misunderstood Dawn’s intention. Feeling much more comfortable, he stuck his hand out for Ducky and Alex to shake. “Nice to meet you both,” he said. 

“It’s actually Chris now, not Ducky,” Ducky clarified. “That nickname is a relic, and only a few people can get away with calling me that anymore. Dawn just happens to be one of those few.” Ducky patted Dawn lovingly on the cheek. 

Byron laughed, he liked this guy immediately, despite being overly put-together in a tight hot-pink t-shirt (which did nothing to hide his too-skinny frame), vintage pin-stripe black pants, and hair with just a little too much styling gel. “OK then. Chris.” 

“Don’t even,” Dawn interjected. “You’ll be the only one here not calling him Ducky tonight.”

“Who else is coming?” Jeff asked. 

“Sunny. And she’s bringing a new guy.” Dawn said. 

Ducky laughed and poured a healthy glass of wine, “Oh Dawn. Have you  _ met _ this guy?” Ducky took a deep drink from his wine glass, put it down and opened the refrigerator. He pulled out a bottle of ginger ale and poured it in another wine glass and handed it to Alex, who accepted it with a grateful nod. “I swear. Sunny can not be happy with a guy unless he’s a good ten years older than she is. He’s thirty five if he’s a day. And he’s an  _ accountant _ , and everything you’d think an accountant would be. Dull. As. Dishwater.” Ducky sat down on a chair and crossed his legs, giving Dawn a significant look. 

“Ducky! Be nice,” Dawn admonished him. “He’s coming over for dinner, and I’m sure he’s very pleasant. It's not wrong for Sunny to want to settle down a little bit.”

“Hmph.” Ducky grumbled. “If he takes our cool and fun-loving Sunny and turns her into some boring old housewife, I’ll never forgive him.” 

Byron smiled inwardly. He already liked Ducky. Ducky may have been complaining, but there was obviously very real concern for his friend Sunny behind the gossipy exterior. And how he poured ginger ale instead of wine for Alex? Obviously Alex was a teetotaler, but Ducky didn’t make any kind of issue about it. It kind of reminded him of how Jeff was with friends, the concern and the thought was absolutely effortless. 

When Sunny and Steve showed up less than fifteen minutes later, you’d never know that Ducky had ever said anything negative about him at all. He greeted Sunny with a kiss on the cheek and a hearty handshake for Steve, the accountant, who Byron couldn’t help but feel a little sorry for. Steve wasn't as dull as Sunny, but he was quieter than her, and seemed overwhelmed by this group of Sunny's friends. Eventually, the kitchen was packed and Basil kicked everyone out so he could finish cooking dinner. 

Everyone had their glasses of wine, Alex had his ginger ale, and they sat around the living room, as Dawn made introductions, introducing Byron to Sunny and Steve, and Sunny introducing Steve to everyone, except Ducky who had clearly already met him. Ducky similarly reminded Steve that he could call him Chris, thank you very much, and everyone just laughed and shook their heads. Ducky was obviously in on the joke that he was never going to be called anything but Ducky, but he seemed to take it with a grain of salt. Byron half- listened to Sunny, Ducky and Dawn catching up and talking about old friends. Byron was sitting between Alex and Jeff on the couch, and at one point he tried to engage Alex in conversation, but it lagged, neither having the heart to keep it up. Byron couldn’t help but wonder what a guy with such a strong personality like Ducky was doing with a guy like Alex. 

Basil called them into the dining room, which was a little too small to comfortably fit eight full-grown adults, but they managed to squeeze themselves around the table happily. Byron was sitting between Jeff and Ducky, Alex on Ducky’s other side. 

Byron turned to Ducky, “How long have you two been together?”

“Who?” Ducky asked. 

“Uh. You two,” Byron pointed between Ducky and Alex. 

Alex choked on his ginger ale. Ducky just smile blandly, “We aren’t.” 

“Oh! I’m sorry, I just thought...” Byron drifted off.

Alex snorted and Ducky smiled mildly. “Nope. Best friends, just like you and Jeff.”

Byron laughed a little uncomfortably and carefully avoided looking at Jeff. Dawn was watching and listening carefully, looking pleased that Byron had realized that Ducky was available. 

After salad, Basil brought out a dish of eggplant parmesan and fresh garlic bread. Byron had to admit to himself that he didn’t even miss the meat. Byron and Ducky made general chit-chat about the food, but were by no means in an exclusive conversation. Jeff was cutting in with stories about trying to convert Byron to vegetarianism. Alex would make an occasional observation, usually sardonically, and Byron could start to see why Ducky liked him. Byron had to wonder if Ducky had ever felt the same way about Alex that he felt about Jeff. 

After the dishes were cleared and everyone was sitting back, patting their bellies contentedly, Ducky stood up. “Sorry, kids. I need to go have a smoke.”

“Ducky,” Sunny whined. “You know how I feel about that.”

“Sorry, toots. It’s my vice and it’s not like I’m a chain smoker. I just need one after dinner.”

“And when you wake up, and mid-morning, and at lunch, and mid-afternoon, and right before dinner, and right before bed too.” 

“You make it sound worse than it is, darling.” Sunny looked like she was about to argue, when Ducky abruptly turned to Byron, “Care to join me on the porch?”

“Sure,” Byron said, following Ducky out to the small balcony. 

One of Byron’s deepest secrets is that he found guys smoking cigarettes insanely attractive. He knew all the statistics about smoking, and frankly he didn’t love the way it smelled. But my god, if there wasn’t something about watching a guy smoke a cigarette that wasn’t dead sexy And as he watched Ducky pull a cigarette and lighter out of his pocket and light up, suddenly Byron didn’t mind so much that he was too skinny or that he had gelled hair, because Ducky just made it look good. 

“So,” Ducky said, lighting the cigarette and inhaling deeply. “Did Jeff even tell you that this evening was a big set up?”

“Kind of. But then you came in with Alex, and I thought there was a miscommunication or something.” 

Ducky laughed. “Nah, Dawn’s hobby is setting people up.”

  
“It’s not Jeff’s hobby,” Byron said.

“Yeah well, Jeff has hardly ever been able to say no to Dawn. Most people can’t. Anyway, she’s pretty terrible at it. Dawn doesn’t stop to think about my personality. All she does is meets a gay guy and is like, oh hey Ducky’s gay, maybe he’ll like this guy. The last two guys she set me up with were gym rats.” Ducky rolled his eyes. “Her and Basil didn’t even think about the fact that I don’t like gym rats.”

Byron looked down at his own paunchy frame. He hadn’t been in a gym since he took his last PE class in high school. “Well, that’s definitely not me.” 

Ducky snorted and took another, smaller drag. “So.Tell me something interesting about yourself.”

“Um. I’m pretty boring,” Byron said unhelpfully. “Oh. I am a triplet. Identical.” He knew that would get Ducky’s attention. People always found that a lot more fascinating than it really was.

“No shit?”

Byron nodded. “Yeah. Adam and Jordan are my brothers and they look just like me.”

“That’s.....awesome. There’re like three of you running around out there. Well,” he corrected himself quickly. “Not three of  _ you, _ but you know. Three people who look the same. Did you play tricks on teachers and shit? Growing up?”

Byron nodded. “Not me. Adam and Jordan actually look a little more alike than I do. Everyone was always able to pick me out for some reason.”

“Yeah, I bet.” Ducky nodded his head knowingly. Byron had no idea what he was implying, but was a little distracted watching Ducky’s shoulders visibly relax after taking a deep drag of a cigarette and didn’t bother to ask. 

“How about you?” Byron asked. “What’s most interesting about you?”

“Hmmm,” Ducky thought hard, exhaling through his nose. “I’m an orphan.”

“God, really? I’m sorry. Was it recent?”

“Nah,” Ducky shook his head. “Nine years ago, I was nineteen. My parents died in a small plane crash in Ghana.” 

“Geez.” Byron said, unsure what to say. “I’m really sorry.” Ducky shrugged. Byron changed the subject. “So you’re what? Twenty eight now?”

“Yeah. Are you twenty one like Jeff?”

“Twenty-two,” Byron corrected. 

“God. I’ll bet Dawn’s been waiting for you to age up a little bit to set us up. Are you still in college?”

“For a few more weeks.”

“Major?”

“Math.”

Ducky looked shocked. “Really? What are you going to do as a math major? Teach?”

“God, I hope not. I like statistical analyses. It’s really dorky, I know. But I have an internship this summer with a polling firm and I hope I can turn that into a career in analysis. You know, numbers. Dull. As. Dishwater.” He wanted to see how Ducky would react to having his own insulting words thrown back at him.

All he did was laugh though. “Numbers are only dull on certain people,” he said. “But suddenly my art history major is making me feel stupid,” Ducky admitted.

Byron laughed, “No, we’d probably go to an art museum and I’d be the one feeling stupid. What do you do?”

“I’m a social media manager.”

“Whose social media do you manage?” 

Ducky sighed. “I’m not ashamed of my job,” he said, flicking the cigarette butt off the edge of the balcony. “But I don’t think a math major is going to be too impressed.” 

“Try me,” Byron said smiling. 

“I work for a modeling agency. I manage the social media of a lot of different model’s individual accounts, but also the agency’s accounts.”

“There’s nothing wrong with that,” Byron said. “I probably couldn’t do it.”

Ducky shrugged, “It pays the bills. And I’m surrounded by beautiful people all day.” He stared out into the horizon. “We should get back in before Dawn actually starts to think her plan worked,”

“Yeah, all right.”

It had been such a simple conversation. But Byron couldn’t help feeling a connection, like he was drawn somehow to Ducky. Maybe it was because he had so few gay friends, tending to hang out as the token gay with mostly straight couples. Or maybe it was that Ducky was undeniably charming and so comfortable with himself. Or maybe Byron was just really horny. Whatever it was, Byron and Ducky talked each others’ ears off the rest of the night, and both ignored the grins Jeff and Dawn were flashing each other across the table.

___________

That night, climbing into bed, Byron asked Jeff, “Do you think I have more to my personality than just gay?” 

“Yeah,” Jeff laughed. “What’s this about?”

“Something Ducky said. Dawn tries to set him up with whatever gay guy she meets, not even considering his personality. The last two guys she set him up with were gym rats.” 

“Byron,” Jeff said seriously. “You know I think about you as a whole person, not just as a gay guy. Dawn actually thought this time Ducky might really like you.”

“So I was set up because I’m  _ not  _ a gym rat?”

“We both thought that both of you might like the other,” Jeff admitted. 

“He’s a nice guy,” Byron admitted, rolling onto his back and staring at the ceiling. “I wouldn’t want to date a gym rat either. I’m kind of into tall and lanky.”

Jeff was silent for a second as he stared down at his own long skinny legs, “Yeah. I figured,” he said dryly before reaching over to turn out the light. 


	3. Beer

Byron and Jeff spent Monday morning cleaning up Dawn's apartment. It was well past midnight when everyone had left the night before and Dawn, Basil, Jeff and Byron were tired. Jeff told Dawn and Basil to leave the mess, that he and Byron would take care of it in the morning since they didn't have to be at work. Dawn gratefully agreed. 

"Did you have a good time last night?" Jeff asked Byron. "I know you aren't crazy about hanging out with new people."

“Yeah, it was good," Byron said.

"And Ducky?" Jeff teased.

Byron smiled, "What about him?" This was a new level of conversation between Jeff and Byron. Once Byron had come out to Jeff, he’d never had the nerve to talk about guys with him. 

"Did you like him?"

Byron shrugged and concentrated hard on sweeping the floor. "Yeah, I guess. He's a nice guy."

"So it wasn't the worst thing in the world then, being set up?"

"No. But we're only here a week, Jeff. I’m not exactly looking for a long-term long-distance relationship.”

Jeff snorted. "I know. I just...I really like Ducky and I really like you, obviously. But don't think that's why I asked you here for spring break. The thought of introducing you two came to Dawn after you'd bought your plane ticket."

They continued to clean and do the dishes in companionable silence for a while longer when Jeff’s phone rang. Jeff answered it, but Byron didn't really stop what he was doing to bother to listen. 

When Jeff hung up, he came into the kitchen and said in a sing-song voice, "That was Ducky!"

"Oh yeah?" Byron worked to keep his face impassive while his heart thudded in his chest. 

"We're going to go meet him for a beer after he gets off work at five."

Byron's eyes widened briefly, before realizing he wanted to play it cool in front of Jeff. "Yeah, all right."

Jeff smirked, and Byron knew that Jeff could read him, just like he'd always been able to.

_____________

"Guys! Over here!" Ducky called as Byron and Jeff walked into the bar/restaurant located blocks away from Ducky's office. It was clearly a popular happy hour destination for the young professionals in the area. Byron and Jeff had to snake their way through crowds to get to the booth where Ducky was sitting alone. 

"Sorry we're late," Jeff said. "I forgot how bad traffic is around here."

"No problem. Can I get you guys anything? I'll treat first round."

"Beer. Something dark, use your judgment." Jeff requested.

"Same for me," Byron said. 

"Gotcha," Ducky smiled. Byron watched him with interest as he walked to the bar. He definitely had a natural little swing to his hips when he walked. He was wearing jeans, which surprised Byron. He figured Ducky would have to dress up for work. The jeans were dark and just a little tighter than most other guys' jeans. He had a black shirt on it, with this weird silvery diagonal stripe that was so faint it could only be seen in the right light. 

"Like what you see?" Jeff asked, smiling.

Byron turned to look at Jeff, and realized that whole day he hadn’t really thought about Jeff and how good looking he is and how he makes Byron’s heart skip a beat. He stared at Jeff directly in the eyes for a moment before answering, "Yeah, I do." Jeff went silent, unsure if Byron was talking about Ducky or himself. 

Their silence, for the first time ever could be described as uncomfortable until Ducky returned to the table and both Byron and Jeff relaxed. "What'd I walk in on?" Ducky asked them, clearly sensing something.

"No offense," Jeff said looking around and pointedly ignoring Ducky’s query. "But I'm going to use you guys as my wingmen today."

"Really?" Byron asked. "I've never been anyone's wingman before."

“It’s a total straight guy thing,” Ducky pointed out.

"No, listen. I have this all figured out. I find a pretty girl, and tell her that my best friend is here visiting me. Then I tell her that I made the mistake of introducing her to another friend, that's you Ducky, and point you guys out. When she realizes my best friend is gay, and that I'm totally secure with it? I'm so in. Girls love a guy who’s secure enough in his sexuality to hang out with two gay guys."

Byron wanted to argue, because something about it seemed offensive even if he couldn’t quite put his finger on exactly what. But when he thought more about it, he actually thought Jeff might be right and it could really work. Also, it’d give him some more alone time with Ducky and that wasn’t something he was willing to give up at the moment. 

Ducky seemed to agree because he said, "So we don't really have to do anything besides sit here and look like we're having a gay old time?” Byron laughed and Ducky added, “And that pun was  _ totally _ intended."

"Absolutely. Just sit here and talk to each other like we all saw you on the balcony last night."

Byron blushed, but Ducky laughed. "What do you think, Byron? Can we manage that?"

"Only for Jeff," Byron nodded. 

"Sweet," Jeff said looking around the bar. Byron and Ducky looked too.

"How 'bout her?" Byron pointed out a tall leggy blonde.

Jeff wrinkled his nose. "Nah. She tries too hard to look that good."

"That's a bad thing?" Ducky asked, patting his own perfectly coiffed and gelled hair. 

Jeff rolled his eyes, not answering Ducky. Ducky and Byron looked at each other and shrugged. "Her," Jeff said, nodding toward the bar. "In the red shirt." She was a petite girl with light brown hair and large blue eyes. She was sitting at the bar, chatting with a girl who appeared to not actually be with her, but standing there waiting for a drink. Sure enough, as the bartender brought over a beer, the other girl left her sitting alone. Jeff stood up. "Wish me luck, guys."

"Good luck," Byron and Ducky said simultaneously. They watched him go and take the empty seat next to her. Jeff took a few moments before starting a conversation.

"Oh! We shouldn't look like we're watching!" Ducky said suddenly, and he and Byron reluctantly turned away from Jeff and looked at each other. 

"So. Do you and Jeff do this a lot?"

"Never," Byron admitted. "You ever do this for Alex?"

"Alex doesn't drink," Ducky said. "And he's not really the type to go hitting on strange girls in a bar anyway. So this is my first time playing gay wingman. It's surprisingly easy."

"It is easy. I can see in my peripheral that Jeff and the girl are looking our way. So make it look like I'm saying something really charming and funny."

Ducky raised his eyebrows and let out a peal of laughter that got the attention of the table next to him. He reached out and patted Byron's hand. "Oh. How was that?"

"Very theatrical, thanks." Byron said rolling his eyes, but smiling at the same time. 

"Anyway," Ducky continued. "Let's just finish last night's conversation already."

"What were we talking about?" Byron really couldn't remember where they'd left off.

"Everything." Ducky answered. 

________________________

Two hours passed. The waitress brought them more beer and a food menu. They ate and they drank, but mostly they  _ talked. _ It seemed like they'd never stop talking. 

Byron asked Ducky the question he had been asked the night before to get the ball rolling; “Tell me something interesting about yourself.”

Ducky grinned and bit his lip, thinking. “You know, you aren’t the first person to think Alex and I are together.” 

“Does that bother him?” Byron asked. 

Ducky shook his head, “Never. Alex has never cared about that. He was the first person I ever came out to back in high school.”

“He was fine with it?”

Ducky snorted, “He said he’d known for years. Alex has his own problems and wasn’t really all that concerned with my sexuality. And he also told me that pretty much everyone else knew. So I decided just to come out to my friends.”

“Did you ever tell your parents before they died?”

“Yeah. Their last visit home, which was a few months before they died. I told them and my older brother Ted. Ted rolled his eyes and was like ‘Well, duh.’ My mom kind of had the same reaction, but she was nicer than Ted about it. My dad was a little dense to these types of things and was pretty surprised. I’m glad I told them before they died, you know?”

“Yeah, I can see that.”

“How about you?”

“No one guessed, in my case,” Byron said. “That’s what made it really weird coming out. I told Jeff when we were like sixteen maybe? And he was fine with it and he kept my secret. Then I told my brothers, all of them, right after high school graduation, not just Adam and Jordan, and they were definitely surprised. Not really happy, those two. My other brother, Nicky, was OK with it. Or maybe he just wanted a chance to stand up to Adam and Jordan. Either way, we went to different colleges and the space was good for us. By that first Christmas break they were fine and as a joke Jordan even got me a beefcake calendar for Christmas. It must have  _ killed _ him to have to buy that.” Byron smiled at the memory. 

Ducky laughed. “Sunny was my first kiss,” he admitted. “It wasn’t until I was sixteen.”

“No shit?” Byron asked, surprised. “Did you ever kiss another girl after that?”

“Nope.” He shook his head. “Not a one. How about you?”

“Oh yeah. When I was seventeen I slept with my older sister’s best friend.”

“Seventeen? Wait, you were out to Jeff at sixteen though, right?”

Byron gave a small sideways smile. “Jeff hated that I did that to her. I was kind of terrified of anyone finding out. And I really did like her, she’s so nice. My sister went to this boarding school, and at the end of every summer, she’d leave and Jessi, that’s her friend, would get real bummed out. I was a Junior and she was a Senior, and we had a lot of the same friends. So when Mallory left for her senior year, Jessi and I hooked up at this party. And….” Byron shrugged. 

“God,” Ducky laughed. “How was it?”

Byron hesitated. “I mean, I think I did OK.”

“Who were you thinking about?”

Byron coughed.

“Oh god,” Ducky said, slapping his hand over his mouth. “That was beyond none of my business, Byron. You don’t have to answer that.”

Byron felt the heat rise in his face and cleared his throat. “Honestly? Um, Jeff.” Why did Ducky make him feel like he could open up this much?

Ducky looked at Jeff sitting at the bar, flirting openly with the girl, all tanned and blonde with a sparkling smile. “Yeah, I could see that.” 

Byron smiled, not quite believing that he’d just told Ducky that. All those years ago, Jeff had been pretty disappointed in him for sleeping with Jessi like that. Adam and Jordan, who didn’t yet know about Byron, were typically proud and high-fiving about it. Ducky was definitely handling it like someone who understood what a gay teenager really goes through.

“Anyway, what about when Sunny kissed you?”

“I freaked out and didn’t talk to her for days. Then we made up and agreed to be ‘just friends.’ I was a very angsty little shit back in those days,” Ducky assured him. “I have the journals to prove it.”

Byron laughed. “I probably should have kept a journal, but it was definitely seen as something girly to do in our house. Mallory and my next sister Vanessa both journaled like crazy. Adam and Jordan would probably have beaten the shit out of me.”

“Holy….. another sister? How many kids are in your family anyway?”

“Eight,” Byron answered then laughed at Ducky’s mouth hanging slightly open in surprise. “All born in just over six years too, you know with the triplets and all.”

The conversation went on like this for two hours; talking about their pasts. Byron got a weird feeling in his stomach, like he knew Ducky on a deeper level than what they were discussing. It was wild, he’d never had a conversation like this with another guy.

Finally Jeff slid back into the booth, brandishing a bar napkin with the name Dana followed by ten digits on it. “You guys did awesome,” he said. “I got her number.” 

“But you aren’t leaving with her?” Byron asked.

Jeff looked at him like he was crazy. “No. Always leave them wanting more. I’ll call her in a few days.” He shrugged and folded the napkin carefully and put it in his pocket. “I really liked her.”

Byron and Ducky looked at each other and smiled. “Sometimes I love not being straight.” Ducky told Byron. Byron laughed, but Jeff looked mystified. 

_____________

That evening, right before bed, Byron and Jeff were playing video games on Basil’s ancient original Nintendo System. Jeff started in on Byron about Ducky. “What do you think of him?” Jeff asked, looking through the Duck Hunt gun and trying to shoot electronic ducks. 

“Nice shot for a non-hunting vegetarian,” Byron said. “What do I think? He’s a totally nice guy.”

“And?”

“And what? He’s a nice guy.”

“Yeah, but do you like him?”

“Sure. Why wouldn’t I like a totally nice guy?”

“C’mon Byron. You know what I mean.”

“I know what you mean, I just don’t see why you’re so interested.”

Jeff shrugged. “You were really deep in conversation at dinner.”

Byron rolled his eyes. “You keep forgetting one important detail. He lives in California and I live in Connecticut. I don’t mind hanging out with him while I’m here, but I’m not really looking to get into something serious with someone three thousand miles away.”

Jeff looked at Byron appraisingly. “But when you graduate college, it’s like you can do anything anywhere. You don’t have to stay in Connecticut, do you?”

“No, I don’t have to. But that’s where my internship is.”

“And how long is that?”

“Six months.” Byron turned away. “Why’re you so interested in this anyway?”

Jeff shrugged. “You’ve never mentioned seeing anyone. I thought….” He drifted off and shrugged again. 

“I do all right,” Byron assured Jeff. “I just haven’t found anyone, you know, worth keeping around.”

“Have you even been looking?”

“Jeff, God.” Byron aimed and made a perfect shot. “Yes! I win.”

“Shit.” Jeff stared at the screen silently for a moment. He took a deep breath. “I just don’t want you to miss out on the chance with a really nice guy because you might be waiting for something that will never come along.”

Byron put his Duck Hunt gun down and stared at Jeff for a few moments. At that moment, he knew that Jeff knew about his feelings. Byron had no idea what to say to this. Byron hesitated and picked up the gun again and shot the ‘play again,’ choice on the screen. He said awkwardly “I appreciate your concern. I like Ducky, enough that I want to see him again this week.”

“OK,” Jeff agreed amiably. He dropped the subject and they spent the rest of the time until bed drinking beer and playing thirty year old video games. 


	4. Concert

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ducky and Byron go to a Jax concert

The next morning Byron and Jeff awoke at the same time to the sound of Byron’s phone ringing.  “Mmmph,” Jeff moaned rolling over. “It’s spring break. Who the fuck is calling before nine a.m.?” 

Byron grabbed his phone and grinned. “Ducky,” he said. “An adult with a real job who has to get up in the morning.” 

He hit answer and said, “Hello?”

Ducky didn’t waste any time with pleasantries and got right to the point. “When we were talking yesterday, did I talk about the time I went to see Jax when I was sixteen?”

“No,” Bryron answered, grinning. “Who’s Jax?”

Jeff groaned beside him and whispered “Fucking Jax, man.” 

Ducky answered, “They’re this Belgian band that has a pretty big following in Southern California. Dawn and I were absolutely in love with the lead singer, Pierre X. So they were playing at an all-ages club in North Palo and I drove me, Dawn, Sunny and our friend Amalia. But some of my brother’s friends are there and they get me drunk and I can’t drive home. So we called Dawn’s dad and Jack had to come pick us up.” 

Byron laughed, “Oh my God, Ducky. How mad was Jack?”

“Actually a little relieved that I didn’t drive drunk.”

“You were such a shit,” Byron said. “So why are you telling me this now?” 

“Jax is playing at the same club  _ tonight, _ and I have two tickets. I was going to ask Dawn, but I thought I might ask you instead.” 

“I’ve never even heard of Jax,” Byron pointed out. 

“So, it’s a perfect time for your introduction!” 

“I’m not sure if Jeff has plans for us tonight,” Byron said, glancing over at Jeff, who’d swung his legs over the bed, ready to get up. 

“Go with Ducky,” Jeff said. “I’d rather die before I listen to Jax again.”

“Jeff hates Jax,” Byron said into the phone. “But sure, I’ll go with you.”

“Awesome,” Ducky said, and Byron was sure he could hear the smile through the phone. “We live in the age of Uber now, so no worries about drinking and driving. I’ll swing by Dawn’s at six, we’ll head to North Palo, grab a bite and go to the club.” 

“Cool.” Byron said.

“Boss is on my back,” Ducky said, “Gotta jet,” and just like that the phone call ended. 

Byron bit his lip into a smile and held the phone close to his chest before turning around and watching Jeff get up and stretch. “Why do you hate Jax so much?”

“Dawn used to play their CD non-fucking-stop when she was like thirteen or fourteen years old.”

“So are they, like a boy band?” Byron asked. “Am I going to be at an all-ages club surrounded by teenage girls?”

“Not really. They’re weird. Super European and their songs are really synthy,” Jeff shrugged. “They’re probably fine if that’s what you like, but I was ten and I hated it.” 

“Hmm,” Byron said. He wasn’t sure if he’d ever even listened to synthy European music. 

“But you’re just going for the company, right?” Jeff asked, smirking. 

“Shut up,” Byron said as he threw off the covers and got out of bed. “What’re we doing today?”

“There’s an exhibit at LACMA that Dawn wants to see, and I told her we’d go with. Is that OK?

“Sure. As long as we’re back by six. That’s when Ducky’s coming.”

“You think I’d let you miss that?”

_______

Dawn was outright smug that Ducky and Byron were going to see Jax together. If she’d been interested in seeing the band with Ducky, she got over it immediately in hearing that Byron was going. 

“What are you going to wear?” Dawn asked. 

“I hardly packed anything,” Byron said. Even if he’d been planning on going to a concert, he doubted he’d have brought much more than jeans and a t-shirt, which is what he was most comfortable in. But suddenly he was worried, Ducky’s own style was much more put-together than his own. Would a pair of jeans and a T-shirt that said Southern Connecticut State University really be the best thing to wear?

But then again, Byron reminded himself, he wasn’t trying to impress Ducky. It’s not like he wanted to get together with the man. He was on vacation, he wasn’t out there trying to find a new boyfriend. Ducky wasn’t going to be anything more than a friend and a friend wouldn’t care if you went to see a band wearing jeans and an SCSU t-shirt. 

“Maybe Jeff has something you can borrow,” Dawn said. 

Jeff laughed, “I’m like four inches taller than Byron,” he pointed out. 

“And like ten or twenty pounds lighter,” Byron added. 

“Hmmm,” Dawn frowned. “And Basil is even taller than you, Jeff.”

“Dawn,” Jeff said, exasperated. “Just let Byron wear what he’s comfortable in.” Byron couldn’t help but notice that Dawn’s own style leaned more towards his own jeans-wearing comfort than Ducky’s put-together fashions. 

“But for a date-”

Byron quickly interrupted her, “It’s not a date.” 

Dawn looked amused, “It’s not?” 

“Why would I go on a date when I’m here for a week? I’ll be back in Connecticut in four days.” 

“A date doesn’t mean you have to wind up boyfriends,” Dawn pointed out. 

“It means there’s an interest. This is just two dudes going to a concert.”

Byron silently thanked whatever gods were listening that even though he was close to his own siblings, none of them ever tried to set their siblings up on dates. It was weird enough his friend’s sister was doing it, especially when it was so illogical. 

____

Ducky walked into Dawn’s apartment at exactly six o’clock that evening. He kissed Dawn on the cheek and turned to Byron, “Yay! You get to hear Jax for the first time tonight!” He bounced up and down with excitement. 

“Yeah,” Byron said, looking Ducky over. Ducky was definitely dressed better than he was, but then again, few people looked as well put together as Ducky did. While Byron opted not to wear his SCSU tee shirt in favor of a loose-fitting button up with his jeans, Ducky had an  _ outfit.  _ He was wearing skinny jeans with a light green shirt with a deep v-neck with what looked like a vest from a three-piece suit over top of it. His shoes were shiny and black. 

He was also wearing a line of black eyeliner on each eye. Byron had spent the previous four years at college making out with a few guys here and there, but none of them had ever made him feel like Ducky made him feel just by looking at him. Who knew eyeliner could look so good on a guy? 

Ducky had driven to Dawn’s and was planning on getting an Uber from there. He fiddled with his phone then looked up at Byron and grinned, “Five minutes til the driver’s here.” 

“Where are you eating?” Dawn asked. 

“Dunno,” Ducky shrugged, “I figured we’d walk around and find something when we get to North Palo.” 

“Sunflower is good,” Dawn offered. 

“A Vegan cafe? We’re a couple of meat-eaters,” Ducky reminded her. He turned to Byron. “Maybe a steakhouse."

Dawn wrinkled her nose in disgust, but didn’t say anything. Instead it was Jeff who spoke next, “If you come back playing Jax’s songs, I’m going to have to hurt you.” 

Dawn  _ tsked _ toward Jeff and pulled her phone out, “I have all their albums downloaded.”

“Nooo!” Jeff said, laughing and hurtling himself toward his sister, “Give me that phone.” Dawn held the phone up high and ran around the apartment threatening to play Jax on top volume all night. Jeff tried his best to tackle her. 

Ducky quirked at eyebrow at Byron. “Why don’t we leave these two to their argument and wait outside for the driver.”

“Sure,” Byron said. The fake argument over music didn’t bother him, a guy who’d grown up with seven siblings. 

They sat on the steps of the apartment and waited, Ducky giving Byron the run-down on where they could eat. North Palo sounded a lot more lively than the area that Byron had seen. 

North Palo wound up being pretty close to the restaurant Byron, Jeff and Ducky had gone to the day before. It was a pretty hip neighborhood. Unlike where Dawn and Ducky lived, which was a lot of housing developments and suburban-style strip malls, North Palo was like a proper downtown, with higher buildings, metered parking on the streets which were set in a walkable grid pattern. 

Their Uber dropped them off in front of a restaurant called Smith Cucina. “This food’s super good,” Ducky promised and led them in. 

The restaurant wasn’t quite full yet, but you could tell it would be hopping really soon. Ducky and Byron got a table next to the window and were able to see passersby on the sidewalk. The restaurant was very hip, all black and silver and industrial looking on the inside. 

“Not a steakhouse,” Ducky said, “But everything’s great here.” 

Byron studied the menu and decided on fish tacos, with a gin and tonic. Ducky nodded approvingly, “I bet you can’t find fish tacos this good on the east coast.” 

Byron grinned and when the waiter left to put in their order said to Ducky, “Are we going to need Jack Schafer to come pick us up tonight?” 

“That was, without a doubt, one of the weirdest nights I had as a teenager. I was never super close to my brother, but his friends were there and they always thought of me as this annoying flamboyant weirdo, so when they offered me drinks, it just….ugh. It felt validating.” 

“I can see that.” 

“I knew as I was doing it that there was no way I’d drive home.”

“Well, cheers to Jack Schafer I guess.”

“Yeah, he’s pretty good dad. Better than my own was at least.” Ducky shrugged. “I wish I’d gotten the chance to know my dad while I was an adult.” 

“That really sucks,” Byron said. “You don’t have to talk about it.” 

“It’s been nine years,” Ducky said. “I can talk about how much it fucked me up.” 

“Like how?” Byron asked curiously. 

“I had only just started college,” Ducky said. “It happened in October, and I dropped out. I had every intention of going back for the next semester, but I couldn’t bring myself to do it. Ted and I started fighting all the time, and he decided we should sell the house and I had nowhere to go.”

“Ted didn’t let you stay with him?”

“I could have, but we weren’t getting along. I worked at Sunny’s dad’s bookstore, and I ended up living with her and her dad for a long time.” 

“But you’re a college graduate, right?”

“Oh, yeah. I just finished up the year before last. I managed the book store for three years before Sunny’s dad convinced me it’d be in my best interest to go back to school.”

“And then you got your job,” Byron said. 

“The rest is history!” Ducky agreed. “I got my job straight out of an internship my senior year.”

“That’d be nice,” Byron said. “To get a job from your internship.”

“Think it’ll happen for you?”

Byron shrugged, “Don’t know. It usually doesn’t. Grad school is still a possibility for me.” 

Ducky shook his head and laughed a little, “I can’t believe  _ anyone  _ would want to continue to study that much more math.” 

Byron laughed along, “What can I say? I’m a huge nerd.”

“I like that about you.” 

Byron was rendered momentarily speechless. He liked Ducky too, of course, but that was really forward of Ducky to say. “Well, thanks.” 

They were interrupted by the waitress coming with their drinks, a gin and tonic for Byron and margarita for Ducky. They drank and continued to talk. Their food came and Byron bit into his fish taco and his eyes went wide, “Oh my God, this is so good!” 

“Told you the food here is good,” Ducky said. “It’s a no-fail place. Something for everyone and the quality is always great.” 

At the end of the meal, Byron got out his wallet, but Ducky waved him off. “My treat.”

“I can’t let you do that,” Byron said, wanting to make it clear that he didn’t think this was a date. He wanted to go dutch. 

“Please,” Ducky said. “You’re still a poor college student and I have a good job. So many people paid for so many things for me when I was still in college and I want to pay it forward.”

“Are you sure?”

“Absolutely,” Ducky said, pulling a credit card out of his wallet and putting it into the check folder. 

“I’ll pay it forward when I have a real job,” Bryon said. 

______

The club was small, but the stage was big. It was mostly too loud to talk, so Byron listened to the music and watched Ducky who was enthralled with Jax. 

And, yes, there was a moment when Pierre X took his shirt off about halfway through the show when Byron  _ got  _ it. Lean and muscly, with heavily tattooed arms, Pierre X has an amazing body. His jeans slung low so you could see the V shape on his lower abs. 

The music itself was decent. Not something that Byron would have normally listened to, but it had a fast beat and was a lot of fun. Of course, just being with Ducky was a lot of fun in and of itself. Byron watched as Ducky kept his eyes on Pierre X, singing along with a fast tune, totally enraptured by the music. 

And it hit him. Shit, he  _ really _ liked this guy. That hadn’t been part of his plan. 

The only times they had a chance to talk was when they went to the bar, which was in a separate area from the stage, to get a drink. 

And they got quite a few drinks, so that by the time the concert ended, he and Ducky were both pretty drunk, and it was a good thing Uber existed because it would have been embarrassing to call Dawn to come pick them up. 

When Ducky asked Byron if he wanted to go back to his place, Bryon didn’t hesitate before saying yes. 

Things got heady in the car, with Ducky choosing to sit in the middle of the backseat so his and Byron’s legs were touching, and Byron thought he might be drunkenly imagining the jolt of electricity he felt between the two. 

Byron turned to Ducky, “I hafta say. Eyeliner looks really good on you.” He put his palm against Ducky’s cheek and tilted his head gently to get a better look at his eyes. 

Ducky smiled and laughed a little bit, “I could show you when we get back to my apartment.” His voice had gone slightly deeper, like he was trying to be seductive. 

Byron knew their driver was probably trying not to laugh or roll his eyes, but he was too far gone both in drunkenness and in lust for Ducky to care. Byron licked his lips and nodded, eyes wide. “Yeah I’d like that.” 

They wasted no time exiting the car when it pulled up to Ducky’s apartment. Ducky pushed Byron to the bathroom then had him sit on the closed toilet seat and grabbed a stick of eyeliner. “Close your eyes,” he ordered.

Byron did, but had to ask, “Are you even sober enough to put eyeliner on correctly?”

“I could do this if I was tripping on acid,” Ducky said, carefully drawing a line across Byron’s eyelid. “And if you like it here’s a hint - use brown not black. Black washes out white guys like us, a very dark brown makes a big difference and looks so close to the black people think they want.” 

“Sure,” Byron said sarcastically. “Of course, who wouldn’t know to use brown instead of black?”

Ducky cackled then finished up applying the makeup. “Look in the mirror,” he ordered. 

Byron stood up and looked, shocked at what he saw before him. He leaned in closer to get a better look at his bright blue eyes, which looked so much bigger. “God damn,” he murmured. “Why doesn’t fucking everyone wear this shit?”

“You look good,” Ducky said agreeably. 

“Not as good as you.” 

Ducky looked like he was trying his hardest not to grin, but only for a moment before he gave over to a big smile, took a step toward Byron and pulled him into a kiss. 

Byron didn’t know if he was drunk, but he couldn’t remember ever having a first kiss with a guy like this. Byron had never really  _ liked  _ any of the guys he’d kissed before the same way he liked Ducky. Those guys were...well, they were just guys to kiss and maybe makeout with a little. He never liked any of them enough to want the boyfriend label. 

But Ducky was something else all together. Ducky was someone Byron wanted to kiss and makeout with, sure. But he wanted to just….talk to him as well, he wanted to hang out and make meals and talk about eyeliner and listen to Jax. 

And God damn it, in three days, Byron was getting on a plane and heading back to the east coast. 

They made their way out of the bathroom into Ducky’s bedroom and collapsed together on the bed, limbs all over each other. Ducky was good at this, commanding the entire thing and taking complete control of Byron who was putty in his hands. Ducky was pushing Byron so hard into the mattress Byron practically became one with it. 

But he loved it, every single minute of it. Every stroke and kiss, every touch and every bit of pressure. Fuck, every breath drew him in until he and Ducky were lying together spent and breathing hard in pure satisfaction. 

“God,” Byron said, running his hands down his face. 

“Mm-hmm,” Ducky agreed, leaning over to kiss Byron’s shoulder. 

They cleaned themselves off and snuggled into the bed and Byron had just started to drift off when his phone buzzed. 

He had a text from Jeff.

> _ Dude. You coming home tonight? _

Well, Byron supposed honesty was the best policy. 

> _ No. Staying at Ducky’s.  _

Then, naturally, the texts continued. First a string of surprised face emojis. Then a string of eggplants. Then a string of kissy-face emojis. And finally one last one that simply said,

> _ GET IT BYRON!!!! _

“Jesus Christ,” Ducky said from right next to him. “I just got some really inappropriate texts from Dawn.” 

“Sorry ‘bout that,” Byron said. “I texted Jeff that I’m staying here tonight.” 

Bryon fell asleep pressed against Ducky’s back, and drunk or not, it was the best sleep he could remember having in a long time. 


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I changed the rating of the fic from T to M. This chapter got slightly smuttier than I meant it to.

The next morning, Byron awoke forgetting momentarily where he was. His head ached with a hangover, but he felt slightly better when he rolled over and saw Ducky asleep beside him. He smiled at Ducky’s sleeping face, looking almost angelic even with the smeared eyeliner. 

He looked around. They’d been in such a frenzy of lust last night, Byron hadn’t bothered to look around and see what Ducky’s place was like. The bedroom was big and airy, with two large windows on one wall. The walls were painted a pale blue with white trim, and the curtains hanging from the windows were a slightly darker shade of blue and matched the comforter on the bed. There was art on the walls- real art, not some cheaply framed prints or movie posters like everyone in college still had. The wall opposite the bed had two smaller canvases, with paintings of people lounging in chairs, except the colors were all wrong, the people were green and magenta and the tables looked fleshy. It was trippy. Above the dresser was a much larger painting of a girl sitting on the grass looking off in the distance and a guy (it looked like Ducky) laying next to her, his head in her lap. 

It was a pretty room, and not exactly what he’d expected from Ducky. He thought there would be a more hipster vibe to Ducky’s apartment. 

Byron snuck out of the bed and grabbed his underwear to make his way to the bathroom to pee and find some tylenol. He stopped at the dresser and looked at a couple of framed pictures. One was of Ducky as a kid with his older brother and parents. Ducky really favored his mother in looks. The other was of Ducky as maybe an older teen with a bunch of girls. Byron recognized Dawn and Sunny, but didn’t know the other two. They had their arms around each other and it looked like they were all caught mid-laugh. 

In the bathroom, the eyeliner was still sitting on the counter. Byron looked in the mirror and noticed his eyeliner was still on and he smiled at his reflection. He peed, rooted through the medicine cabinet and found tylenol then tiptoed out to the kitchen to get some water to take the pills. 

Ducky’s living room was more the hipster vibe he’d expected. The largest wall had a huge wall hanging that looked to be hand-dyed. It was a dark green with a squiggly sun in the middle of it. The wood floors featured a rug that was maroon with splashes of green in it, and the furniture was low and mid-century. Ducky’s TV was wall mounted and sat above an old-fashioned record player cabinet. 

Byron made his way to the kitchen to get some water. He sat at the stool at Ducky’s counter and drank his water slowly, reaching for a cookbook and slowly flipping through. The pictures of the food turned his stomach. 

After a while, Ducky came padding out, wearing a short white robe. “Morning,” he said. 

“Morning,” Byron smiled at him. “How’re you feeling?”

“I just texted my boss that I’m not coming in today.”

“Oh,” Byron said, wondering if this was going anywhere.

“So let’s hang out today.”

“Yeah, definitely. I had a really good time last night.”

“Me too,” Ducky said. “My head’s paying for it now.”

“I hope you don’t mind, I got some tylenol out of your medicine cabinet.” 

“I don’t mind,” Ducky said, dumping coffee in a drip coffee maker and turning it on. “I don’t have anything embarrassing in there. If you’re feeling up to eating I can make some breakfast?

“I’m not sure I can handle anything besides toast right now.”

Ducky quirked a smile, “Me too,” he said, grabbing a loaf of wheat bread from a nearby breadbox. “Toast it is.” 

“What’s the tattoo?” Byron asked. Last night he’d noticed Ducky had a tattoo on his chest, but he didn’t want to stop what they were doing to ask about it. 

“This,” Ducky said, pulling his robe aside so Byron could see it closer. It was on his left pectoral, just above his nipple. “It’s the outline of Ghana, and these two birds flying away represent my parents.” 

“God,” Byron said. He touched it gently. “I’m sorry. You must miss them a lot.” 

Ducky shrugged. “Sure I miss them. But they also gave me a lot of opportunities to miss them when they were alive. So.” 

It was so foreign to Byron, who had a family that was so close, sometimes oppressively so. He didn’t know what to say. 

Ducky placed a plate of dry toast as well as a tub of butter in front of Byron. “Breakfast of champions,” he said. “What’s your Hogwarts House?”

“Ravenclaw. Why?”

Ducky turned around and produced a Ravenclaw mug with a flourish, “For your coffee, sir.” 

“Hey!” Byron said, “You have my house mug! What’s your house?”

Ducky reached into the cabinet and with the same flourish produced a yellow mug with a badger on it, “Hufflepuff Pride!” 

“Why do you even have a Ravenclaw mug?” 

“I have the set,” he explained, showing Slytherin and Gryffindor to Byron. “My ex got them for me for Christmas a few years ago. This is like, the one good thing he left.”

Byron didn’t know whether it was proper to ask about exes, and he started to say “Better Hogwarts mugs than-” he cut off. “Never mind.”

“What?” Ducky asked. 

“I was going to make an STD joke, but I’m not sure how appropriate that is with someone I just met.”

Ducky laughed and sat in front of Byron, pouring coffee from the carafe before handing it over for Byron to pour his own. “Say the joke.” 

“Oh God, I should have kept my mouth shut.” Byron looked at the ceiling, hoping Ducky wasn’t easily offended, but this was the type of joke he, Adam and Jordan made all the time. “Better he left you Hogwarts mugs than gonorrhea.” 

“That is a quality joke,” Ducky said, laughing. 

“Sorry,” Byron said. “My mind goes blue sometimes.”

“Don’t be sorry,” Ducky said, waving him off. “I think it’s funny. I’m just hoping it’s not some kind of opening you’re looking for to talk to me about an STD history.” 

“Ha, no. No history.” 

“But everything we did last night, you’ve done before?” Ducky asked. 

Byron realized they were two men in different life stages. Byron was still in college, for a few more months at least, and Ducky was six years older and already settled into a career. Maybe he did think Byron was a virgin. “Yeah, I’ve done all that before. I’ve never had, like, a long term relationship. But hooking up? A couple of short term things? Yes.” 

“Cool,” Ducky nodded. “No STD history for me either, by the way. Only a couple of ex boyfriends, both longish-term.” 

“I wasn’t asking,” Byron promised. “It’s none of my business.”

Ducky raised an eyebrow at him, “Byron. My dick was in your mouth last night, it actually is your business.”

“OK,” Byron said, guessing this was the difference between almost adulthood and real adulthood, “That makes sense.” 

They ate their breakfast and Ducky got a text from Dawn telling him that his car was still at her apartment. 

“Ah, I forgot about my car,” Ducky said. “Dawn’s got a key, I’m gonna have her bring my car here, and we can figure out our plans for the day since I’m not going into work.”

“Sure,” Byron said, “Have Jeff bring me a change of clothes.”

“Uh-huh,” Ducky said, typing a quick text out to Dawn. 

After eating, having a little coffee and giving the medicine time to kick in both Byron and Ducky were feeling much better. Ducky went to shower while Byron waited for Dawn and Jeff to get there. Byron was wearing only his boxer-briefs, so Ducky gave him the short white robe to wear. Byron looked over the books on Ducky’s shelves. There was some poetry, the Harry Potter books with well-worn spines, a few Stephen King paperbacks, a couple of books on LGBT history, half a shelf of Marvel graphic novels, and a lot of more contemporary fiction that Byron didn’t recognize. The shelves were packed. Byron assumed that being a former manager of a bookstore would mean you got a lot of books.

Byron grabbed a copy of  _ Real Queer America _ and started flipping through it. He always felt a little guilty about not knowing more of his own queer history. Nicky, of all people, had been the one to tell him about Stonewall one time when they were nearby in New York.

He didn’t have long to read when the front door opened and Dawn and Jeff walked in. Byron waited for the shit Jeff was going to give him about staying at Ducky’s the night prior, but it was the smeared eyeliner that caught both of their eyes first. 

“Byron, did you let Ducky put eyeliner on you?” Dawn asked. 

Jeff laughed loudly, “Oh my God, Byron!” 

Byron touched his eyelids and felt the blush rise in his face, “Yeah. He wore some to the concert last night and it looked good, so when we got back he put some on me.”

“It does look good,” Dawn said. “A little smeared though.”

“Well I slept in it,” Byron said. “And I was drunk.” 

“How do you feel?” Jeff asked, handing Byron a Target bag with his clothes in it. 

“Better now that I’ve been up for a little bit.” 

“I think we should go to Winslow Books,” Dawn said. “You can see where Ducky spent years of his life.”

“Sure,” Byron said, glancing at the book he’d been flipping through. Maybe he’d pick that up, or a book like it. 

When Ducky got out of the shower, Byron took his turn, letting the water run over him and washing out the grime and sweat from the concert the night before. When he got out, and got dressed, and brushed his teeth with the toothbrush Jeff was smart enough to remember to bring, he made his way back to the living room. Ducky was giving Dawn a rundown on everything Jax had played last night, while Jeff was lounging on the couch, reading  _ Real Queer America. _

“How’d you like the concert?” Jeff asked. 

“It was good,” Byron answered. “They aren’t nearly as bad as you made them out to be.”

Jeff grinned, but Dawn spoke over him, “He never really hated Jax. He just wanted to be contrarian and not like something I liked.”

Ducky hooted, “I guess you’d know from contrarian, Dawn.” 

Dawn scowled at him, but it was all in good fun. 

They made their way into downtown Palo to go to Winslow Books. The large storefront window had a sign that said “Spring has sprung!” with stacks of gardening books artfully arranged. Dawn said, “Ducky started the whole themed window thing. It gets changed every month or so.” 

“Yeah, but I would have done more with this one,” Ducky said, looking at the display. “Maybe the gardening books over here, and that small white table with kids books about Easter and Passover. Those pastel colors would contrast nicely with the greens and browns of the gardening books. And that little whtie table is right at a kids’ line of vision.” 

Dawn looked at Byron, “See?” she said. 

Byron didn’t know what Dawn was doing, trying to continue to upsell Ducky to him, because it was obvious that her setting them up had worked. They’d already slept together. 

They went into the store and were immediately greeted by Sunny. “Excuse me, miss,” Ducky said. “I’d like to speak to the manager.”

Sunny punched him affectionately in the arm before enveloping him in a hug. “Shut up, you.”

“I brought Byron here to my old stomping grounds,” Ducky said. 

“Welcome to Winslow Books,” Sunny said. “I’m Sunny Winslow, manager since this dickhead left me to it. Let me show you around.”

“Top notch customer service, Sunny,” Ducky said. 

She stuck her tongue out at Ducky as she led Byron into the store, the other three following her. “You saw the window display, which is something Ducky started. My dad leased the empty space next door and we’ve expanded to have a little coffee shop attached, and it’s space for book readings and signings, that was Ducky’s idea. Ducky had all sorts of ideas about how to make us profitable in the age of Amazon. We also sell papercraft by local artists.”

“Could that have been Ducky’s idea?” Jeff asked sarcastically.

They all laughed and Sunny admitted, “Well, yes.” 

She had to help a customer and left them to wander around the store. Byron made his way over to the LGBT section and looked for the book he’d started to read at Ducky’s. “Have you read this?” Ducky asked, as he saw the book Byron pulled off the shelf.

“I just started reading it at your place and want to keep reading.”

“I’ll lend you my copy,” Ducky said. He scanned the shelves, “If you’re going to buy one, buy this. I don’t own it to lend it to you, but it’s great.” He held out a book called A Queer History of the United States. 

“Awesome,” Byron said, hanging on to the book. 

“Listen, I have a few errands to run today,” Ducky said. “I want to see you again later, and I was thinking dinner? Maybe with Jeff?”

“What about Jeff?” Jeff said as he turned the corner and made his way over to them.

“Dinner tonight?” Ducky asked. 

“Yeah, I called that girl from the bar the other day, Dana. We were maybe going to go out tonight, want to all go together?” 

They agreed, and Ducky left to run his errands. Byron bought the book, and he and Jeff headed back into downtown to get lunch, Jeff texting Dana the whole way. 

“So tell me about last night,” Jeff said, as they settled into their seats after ordering Chipotle. 

“We went to dinner at this place called Smith Cucina,” Byron started

“Oh that place is so good.” Jeff said. “I was going to suggest it for dinner tonight.”

“I had the fish tacos, and we drank. Then we went to the concert and drank some more and I got a little drunker than I meant to and stayed at Ducky’s.” 

“OK,” Jeff said. “Anything else?”

“He put eyeliner on me,” Byron said. 

Jeff sighed, “But, like, how was it?” 

“It was fun.”

“You’re not giving me anything?” Jeff asked, sounding put out.

“Like what?”

“OK, so I don’t need a super detailed story of your sex life or whatever. But when I was going out with Kaylee, we talked right? I told you when things were getting serious and about some other personal things. Same thing when I kept hooking up with Bre and wanted more but she just wanted to hookup.”

“Sure,” Byron said. 

“Every time I try to draw you out about, like, guys or whatever, all I get from you is ‘I do OK.’ And the thing is, I don’t  _ know  _ if you do. You could be a never-been-kissed-virgin since that one time you slept with Jessi Ramsey, and I wouldn’t know about it.” 

“What do you want from me?”

“Just a little more sharing,” Jeff said. “I’m wondering if you’re not telling me anything because you think you can’t talk about guys to a straight guy.” 

“I don’t think that!” Byron said, in a way that was so defensive he gave away that, of course, that’s exactly what he thought. It was also loud and the woman at the next table looked over at them curiously. “I mean, I don’t want to think that.”

“Then don’t think it. I just think it’s weird that you came out here, and I already know you spent the night at Ducky’s but even now you can’t or won’t say anything.” 

“What do you want to know?” Byron said. “I won’t hold back.”

“What did you and Ducky do when you got home last night?” 

“He put eyeliner on me and we went to his bed and-” Byron cut himself off, unsure how much detail he needed to go into. 

“You slept with him?” Jeff asked. 

“Yes,” Byron said, taking a huge bite of burrito to avoid answering any more questions. The woman at the other table widened her eyes and turned her ear toward them. 

“And all those times when you shrugged me off and said, ‘I do OK,’ how were you actually doing?”

Byron swallowed. “There was this guy Sophomore year. His name was Rob and he was a total frat guy, but super cute so I overlooked that. But he was also a total closet case, and I’m really not, so we were sleeping together and I wanted more and he wanted to keep it a complete secret. And look, people are in the closet for all sorts of reasons and I’d be willing to go out with a closeted guy if he really was something special, but Rob wasn’t. He wanted to have a girlfriend for face value and see me on the side. But, like, I couldn't have anyone else on the side.”

“So please tell me you dumped him.” The woman listening in nodded a little bit, and Byron noticed her for the first time. 

“Obviously,” Byron said. “I can put up with a lot of things, but not that.” He bit his lip and took another bite of food. “Then last year, Junior year, there was a guy who was a year older, a senior. His name was Elliot. I liked him more than Rob probably. But it was pretty short-lived because he was graduating and moving to New Jersey, so we broke up. Then there were others that were just hookups. One guy from Yale and usually the Yalies don’t give the Southern Connecticut students the time of day.” 

“So when you kept saying you do OK, you weren’t kidding.”

“No. I really haven’t had anything serious. Elliot was the closest, but I wasn’t kidding when I said I do OK. I just didn’t know you’d want to hear it.”

“Sure I would,” Jeff said. “That’s why I talked about my things with you, because that’s what friends do, right?” 

“Right,” Byron said.

“Dawn said…” Jeff hestated and looked down into his salad, taking a bite. He looked like he very much regretted starting that sentence. 

Byron’s curiosity was piqued. “Dawn said what?”

It came out in a rush, “She said maybe you didn’t talk to me because you had a little thing for me.”

“Oh,” Byron said. Sure he’d had a thing for Jeff, but so much had changed in just a couple days and now all he could think about was Ducky and he couldn’t even compare how much he liked Ducky with how he’d felt about Jeff. “Do you want me to share more?” The woman at the other table wasn’t even hiding her eavesdropping as she leaned toward them. 

“I guess?” Jeff said, sounding unsure. 

“I’m a little annoyed with you and Dawn for even introducing me to Ducky in the first place because I like him so much right now and I’m leaving to go back to Connecticut the day after tomorrow and it’s basically killing me.” Byron figured he could just ignore the question that Jeff was obviously asking - whether Byron liked him. 

“You like him that much?” Jeff asked. 

“Yeah,” Byron said. “More than I’ve ever liked anyone before.”

“I didn’t think it’d be like that,” Jeff said. “I just thought he’d be a nice guy for you to hang around with or whatever.” 

“Well, I want to hang around with him more. If you were to ask me, legitimately what do I want to do right now, it’d be go hang out with Ducky, go to bed with him, go get dinner tonight and take him right back to bed and get my hands all over him.” Byron figured he might as well give the nosy lady at the next table something good to listen to. 

“Jesus Christ,” Jeff said quietly. “You’ve got it bad.”

“And it’s your fault,” Byron said. “But I can’t be mad at you for it, because I do like him that much.” He took another angry bite of his burrito. 

“I wasn’t even sure Ducky was your type,” Jeff said. “I’ve never met your type, but Dawn was so insistent and I thought one little dinner couldn’t hurt.” He paused, looking thoughtful. “So what are you going to do?”

“What can we do?” Byron asked. “We’ll go to dinner tonight, I’ll probably go back to his place and sleep with him again, hang out tomorrow, more sex hopefully, then what? I get back on a plane to Connecticut.”

“People have long distance relationships,” Jeff said. 

Byron scoffed, “People get in relationships and after a while they sometimes have to do long distance. People don’t get into an exclusive relationship after four days and decide to forego all others while living three thousand miles away.” 

“Well why not?” Jeff asked. 

Byron threw his hands in the air, exasperated. “Because….I don’t know. Because maybe after four days you don’t know each other well enough.” He saw the woman at the other table bite her lip like she was trying to keep her mouth shut. 

“God Byron, Facetime exists. And your internship starts in June and ends in December. Come January you can do whatever the fuck you want.” 

“That’s so far away.”

“Oh my God. You’re so dramatic,” Jeff rolled his eyes. 

Byron leaned over toward the woman who’d been listening in and said, “Do you have something to add?”

She looked guilty for having been listening in, but only for a moment. She got up and moved herself to the table next to Byron and Jeff. She was older than the two of them, maybe late thirties, and heavily pregnant. “I’m sorry,” she said, “But what you’re saying in nonsense. My husband and I met online and hadn’t even met face to face and we were in an exclusive relationship for a whole year before ever meeting.” 

“See?” Jeff said. 

“If you like this, Ducky, did you call him?”

Byron nodded.

“If you like Ducky that much you should talk to him.” 

“ _ Thank _ you,” Jeff said to the woman. 

“It was actually the best thing that could have happened,” she said. “It helped us get to know each other a little more deeply than if we’d just, you know…” she waved her hand vaguely, “Jumped into bed.” 

Byron coughed. He and Ducky had definitely jumped into bed pretty quickly.

“Not that there’s anything wrong with that!” she said quickly. “But we couldn’t and it helped us, in the long run. The whole long distance thing did.”

“And you’re married now?” 

“Almost five years,” she said proudly then pointing to her belly, “And now expecting.” 

“I’m not trying to get  _ married  _ or have babies,” Byron said. “I’m only twenty-two.” 

The woman shrugged, “OK, so maybe I didn’t get married until thirty-six, but your age doesn’t matter. When you meet someone and you know they’re special, you know it.”

Jeff turned to look at Byron, his blue eyes drilling him. “Is that Ducky?”

Byron shrugged. “I don’t know.” 

“It is,” Jeff chided, “You know it is.” 

The woman stood up, “Look, I’ve gotta go. But good luck to you and Ducky.” 

Byron gave her a curt nod, but Jeff said, “Thanks!” enthusiastically. 

When she left Byron looked at Jeff, “But I don’t even know if Ducky likes me as much as I like him.”

Jeff groaned and rolled his eyes.

_____

Dinner was fine. They decided not to eat at Smith Cucina and went to a tapas place just down the street from it. Dana was nice. She was polite, asking Byron and Ducky questions, and she and Jeff seemed to really like each other. 

But Byron could barely pay attention. His brain was full of the conversation he’d had with Jeff and trying to assess every little thing Ducky was saying. Trying to figure out if Ducky liked him as much as he liked Ducky. 

They skipped dessert and it was a blessed relief when dinner was over and Jeff left with Dana, while Byron climbed into the passenger seat of Ducky’s Prius and made their way back to his apartment.

They kicked their shoes off inside the door and immediately made their way to the bedroom, falling on the bed together, lips connected. They divested themselves of their clothes quickly, hands all over each other. 

This was different from last night. This time, they were sober. This time, there was an intensity, almost an electricity between the two of them. Byron ran his fingers down Ducky’s thin torso, peppering the tattoo on his chest with kisses. He reached around and cupped Ducky’s ass in his hands, as he leaned up and planted a smoldering kiss on his mouth. 

Ducky wrapped his legs around Byron and hitched his hips, giving Byron a better grip on his ass. Byron moved his pelvis, just slightly, and their cocks aligned, throbbing against each other. 

“God,” Ducky whispered, kissing Byron on the neck and breathing him in. 

God was right. This was so much better than it had been the night before. The night before had been quick and sloppy and anxious. But this time it was slow and languorous. They were taking their time to feel each other out, to study their bodies, and enjoy the feeling of being pressed to another person. 

Eventually Byron was on his back, legs spread with Ducky in between them. Ducky pressed a finger lightly on the outside of Byron’s hole, “Is this OK?” he whispered.

“Yes,” Byron said, nodding his head. He’d never gone this far this fast with anyone. He’d never even really been properly fucked before. The closest he’d come was trying it once with Elliot, but it’d been fumbling and Byron had been tense with nerves and it’d hurt too bad for them to continue. Byron felt safe and secure and relaxed with Ducky. 

Ducky reached into the drawer of his bedside table and pulled out a bottle of lube and a condom. Byron waited and watched as Ducky flipped open the cap of the lube and spread some on his fingers, reaching down to Byron to press one into him. 

Byron gasped and raised his hips to meet Ducky’s hand. “You like that?” Ducky asked, smiling. 

“Uh-huh,” Byron said and bit his lip in pleasure when Ducky added a second finger. He moved his fingers around a bit, sending another thrill through his body. He wasn’t tense at all. He felt like hot liquid lying there, undulating under Ducky’s touch. 

Byron gasped when Ducky pulled his fingers out, ripped open the condom and rolled it on, then used more lube to slick himself up. “You ready?” Ducky asked. 

Byron nodded, breathing too hard to be able to answer properly. Ducky slowly pressed into him, taking his time as Byron at first clenched against the breach. Byron took a deep breath, willed himself to relax and Ducky was able to keep pushing further. 

“Let me know if I need to stop,” Ducky said. 

“Don’t,” Byron said. He bore down and his hole gave enough slack to suck Ducky in even further. The feeling of Ducky being fully inside him was just so...so much that Byron’s brain nearly short circuited. It was pain and pleasure and pressure all at once. But he took a few deep breaths and thrust his hips up, just an inch, giving Ducky the okay to start moving. 

The longer Ducky was in him, the better it got and the harder Byron’s dick grew against his stomach. “Faster,” Byron grunted. 

Ducky responded by thrusting faster, while Byron lay beneath him panting and stroking his own cock. He knew he wouldn’t last much longer and choked out, “I’m going to come,” just seconds before he did. 

Byron’s hole clenched involuntarily as he came, putting a delicious pressure on Ducky’s cock. Ducky thrust once more before succumbing to his own release. 

They caught their breath, and Ducky pulled out of Byron, carefully pulling the condom off. Byron was red faced and leaning back with a grin on his face. “That was awesome.” 

“Had you done that before?” Ducky asked. 

Byron shook his head. “Me and this guy tried, but it was kind of…”

“I get it,” Ducky said. “It can take some practice.” He reached over Byron and opened the nightstand drawer and pulled out a small packet of wet wipes. “I used a lot of lube,” he explained, handing a wipe to Byron. “You’re gonna want to wipe up.”

Byron hadn’t ever even considered the after effects of anal sex, but here he was, suddenly noticing the amount of lube seeping from his loosened asshole. He wiped up, but still felt weird and sticky and lubed. “Can I just jump in the shower?” he asked. 

“Sure,” Ducky said, “That’ll probably get you cleaner than the wet wipes.” 

Byron showered quickly, but still taking the time to sniff all the shampoos Ducky had lined up on the shower ledge. He wondered who’d need that many shampoos and if he was possibly doing something wrong with his life that he had one bottle of Suave shampoo and conditioner combined in his own shower. 

He felt much cleaner and more comfortable when he toweled off and made his way back to the bed, where Ducky was lying naked and reading the book,  _ Neverwhere _ by Neil Gaiman, that had been on the nightstand. Ducky threw the book to the side. “I bought ice cream,” he said. “Let’s have dessert.” 


	6. Fire

Byron slept like a rock at Ducky’s that night. They were curled into each other in his bed and he felt so safe and warm that after their ice cream he fell into an immediate and deep sleep. 

He was awoken by Ducky’s alarm, though only to that foggy half-awake point. Ducky curled his arm around Byron’s waist and kissed his ear. “I do have to go into work today,” he whispered. 

“Mmm,” Byron said, rolling onto his back. He opened his eyes and squinted into the sun-brightened room. “Okay.” 

“Want to shower with me?” 

“Yeah,” Byron said, getting out of bed and stretching his muscles. He followed Ducky into the bathroom, peed and got into the shower. 

After jerking each other off quickly, they got clean and toweled themselves off. Byron put his same clothes back on, as he watched Ducky carefully select an outfit that was much preppier, but still slightly hipster-ish than anything Byron had seen him wear. He had slightly tight-fitting gray dress pants, a maroon button up shirt and a loose-fitting tie that was skinny and mustard-yellow. His socks matched the tie perfectly and Ducky pulled a pair of worn brown shoes from the closet and set them aside. 

Byron, who had no sense of personal style, loved Ducky’s style. He was thicker around the waist than Ducky was (actually just thicker all over) and didn’t think he could pull off the tight pants and fitted shirts quite as well. But still, maybe since he’d have to be dressing nicer for his internship in June, Ducky could point him to styles that work well.

They went into the kitchen to get breakfast. Ducky pulled out a bunch of bananas and several types of cereal - all sugary kids cereals, thank God- for Byron while he started brewing coffee. “So you’re leaving tomorrow?” he said, starting the conversation that needed to be had, but which Byron was trying to avoid. 

“Yeah,” Byron said. “Later in the afternoon. I’m taking a red-eye back to Connecticut.” 

“Should we talk about this?” Ducky asked, pouring water from the electric teakettle into a french press. Immediately, Byron could smell the coffee in the air. He picked out Apple Jacks and poured them into a bowl. 

“Probably,” Byron said. “What are you thinking?”

“I’m thinking that long-distance is rough,” Ducky said. 

Byron’s heart sank, “Oh,” he said. 

“But I’m also thinking you’re worth it.” 

“Oh?” Byron said. 

“What were you thinking?” Ducky asked. “We started this thing without any plan in mind, and I don’t know if you were just looking for a spring break hookup. Like, I know you’re in college and probably that’s what you look for at that stage of your life, but I just felt like there was something there, that we had this connection, and-” 

“Ducky,” Byron interrupted. “You’re babbling.”

“Sorry,” Ducky said sheepishly. He began pouring coffee for the two of them, Ravenclaw mug ready for Byron. He slid a sugar bowl toward him. 

“I think you’re worth it too,” Byron said. “If you want to try this long-distance thing, I’m all in.” 

“I’ve never done it before,” Ducky said.

Byron shrugged, “Neither have I, but I’ve never liked anyone enough to want to.” He blushed, wondering if it was uncool to admit to someone how much you liked them. It probably was, but the fact was he did like Ducky that much, and since he was leaving California in about thirty hours, he didn’t have time for stupid games. 

Ducky grinned, “Yeah.” 

Byron could still feel the heat in his face. He didn’t know why he was feeling so embarrassed by his admission. He took a bite of Apple Jacks to avoid saying anything. 

Ducky continued, “So there’s Facetime, obviously. We can still talk. And you graduate in a couple months, right? How soon does your internship start?”

“I get a week off between school and starting the internship.”

“All right,” Ducky said. “I’m going to go into work today and request vacation time for that week. Assuming I’m welcome to your graduation?”

“Of course,” Byron said. “You’ll have to meet my parents.”

“I’d love to meet the nuts who had eight kids in six years.” 

Byron laughed. “The good news is that the lease on my apartment in New Haven isn’t up until a week after graduation. So we don’t have to stay in Stoneybrook with my parents, we can actually have my apartment to ourselves. My roommate is moving out graduation day.” 

“And we can do fun East Coast things,” Ducky said. “I’ve never been to New York.”

“You’ve never been to New York?”

“It’s weird, isn’t it?” Ducky asked. “I’ve been to Nairobi. I’ve been to Jakarta. All with my parents when I was little. But our only east coast trip was to Washington, DC. We did DC, Baltimore and Philadelphia, but didn’t have time for New York.”

“Well, the Amtrak from New Haven to New York is fast and cheap. We can go. But I don’t have a lot of money for, like, hotels and stuff.”

“I can pay,” Ducky said breezily. 

“No,” Byron said. “I can’t ask you.”

“Byron,” Ducky said sternly. “I’ve barely touched the life insurance I got when my parents died or the money I got from selling their house. It’s been sitting there and I want to use it for this.”

“I have some money,” Byron said. “I have a job, you know.” He’d told Ducky about his boring job working at a Subway. 

“So do I,” Ducky said dryly. “And it probably pays better than making sandwiches at Subway. And how much money is your internship paying?”

“Nothing,” Byron said. “That’s why I’m living with my parents and carpooling into Stamford with my dad. You think I’d voluntarily spend forty minutes twice a day locked in a car with my father if I was getting paid?”  Ducky went silent and Byron immediately knew what he’d said was wrong. “Oh shit, Ducky. I didn’t mean it like that.” He was sure Ducky would give anything for one more forty minute car trip with his Dad. 

“Is your dad a good guy?” Ducky asked.

“Totally,” Byron said. “It’s just the idea of, you know, feeling like a kid again and needing a ride from mommy and daddy.” 

“My parents weren’t the best,” Ducky said. “And I don’t really get offended when people complain about their folks. I’m not sensitive like that. But, you know, if your parents are good, if they’re  _ there _ you should feel grateful.”

“Yeah, absolutely.” 

“I’m not trying to shame you for feeling like a kid, cause I can see that.”

“Yeah,” Byron said. “But don’t complain about my parents when they’re doing something nice for me, like driving me to Stamford so I can work for no money and stay rent-free in my old bedroom.” 

Ducky nodded. “Don’t complain unless there’s something to complain about.”

“Got it,” Byron said, realizing that dating a person always comes with baggage about their history, and an orphan’s history is going to make that person a little triggered by parents. Byron filed that information away in his brain, along with a note to himself to appreciate John and Dee Pike a little more. 

Ducky dropped Byron off at Dawn’s apartment before leaving for work. Byron and Jeff spent the day watching a movie, going to get sushi for lunch, and heading back to the apartment. Ducky sent Byron a text.  _ Dawn’s planning a bonfire on the beach tonight and inviting a few friends. That OK?  _

“Dawn’s doing a bonfire tonight?” Byron said to Jeff.

“Oh, that’s a good idea,” Jeff said. “Our last night on the beach.”

“You inviting Dana?”

Jeff scoffed. “Nah. We decided to drop it.”

“What happened?” Byron asked. He suddenly felt so bad about being so deep into hanging out with Ducky, that he’d forgotten all about Jeff and Dana. 

“I’m going back to Austin,” Jeff said. “We weren’t having such a great time that it was worth keeping up with. So we parted ways after dinner last night.”

“She seemed nice though.”

Jeff shrugged, “She was. She is nice, but there wasn’t a spark or whatever like there was for you and Ducky.” 

“Is it crazy that I’m getting into a serious long distance relationship after less than a week?” Byron asked. “Tell me seriously.” 

“Byron,” Jeff said, leaning over and tousling his hair. “I’ve seen the way you two look at each other. You definitely are not crazy.”

______

Byron had never been to a beach bonfire before. Ducky picked him and Jeff up and drove them to where Dawn was setting the whole thing up. It was dusk, and Dawn and a few other friends were hard at work hauling sticks into a pile in the middle of a circle of rocks. They pitched in and before long, a small fire was roaring. 

Byron met some of the other friends. He already knew Dawn and Basil, as well as Sunny who’d brought along Steve the accountant, and Alex. One of Jeff’s friends, Zeke, was there, and Byron had met him once on an earlier trip to California. There was also Maggie (Zeke’s sister and Dawn’s friend) and her girlfriend, Jessica, as well as Amalia, who’d come alone. Two of Ducky’s friends, Jay and Bud, were also there with Bud’s girlfriend Leanne. Byron was surprised to meet Jay and Bud who seemed like such jocks, it was hard to believe Ducky was friends with them. Still they were nice and everyone seemed genuinely happy to meet Byron, and even though he tended to be shy around new people, he felt right at home among this group of friends. 

The bonfire was roaring, and food was separated into little foil packets to cook. Dawn had gone all out, even getting regular hot dogs for the meat-eaters, as well as vegan dogs for those vegetarians. Byron and Ducky huddled together with their real-meat hot dogs. 

Some of them went for a quick dip in the water, mostly wearing wetsuits because of the temperature. Byron had never grown accustomed to the ocean and for his whole life had been frightened of its depths. He and Ducky stayed right at the shoreline, where the waves would lap up over his ankles. It was only April and the water was icy. 

They headed back to the sand and pulled a blanket a little away from the fire, away from the crowd, and lay on it together, side by side facing each other. 

“I’m gonna miss hanging out with you,” Ducky said, propping his head up on his elbow. 

Byron matched his gesture and propped his own head up. “Me too,” he said. “I’ll facetime the second I get back to New Haven. Well, once I think you’ll be awake here.” 

“If I tell people my boyfriend is in school in New Haven, will they think you go to Yale?”

Byron laughed, “Yes. But I’m proud of Southern Connecticut. It’s not Ivy League, but it’s a good solid school and nothing to be ashamed of.” 

“It’s not,” Ducky said. “There’s some kind of aura about an Ivy though, isn’t there?” 

“I live near Ivy Leaguers,” Byron said, laughing. “It’s really overblown. Plus my brother Nicky goes to Cornell and he’s smart, but I’ve met some of his friends and they’re dumbasses.” 

Ducky laughed too. “No doubt. I mean, Bud went to Stanford and he’s kind of an idiot.” Ducky gestured vaguely toward Bud who was wearing a backward baseball cap and shotgunning a can of beer. 

They went quiet, Byron not knowing what to say to make this moment last. Ducky must have read it on his face, “Hey,” he said. “You’re going to Facetime me. I’ll Facetime you. We’ll make it work. We can even have Facetime sex.”

Byron blushed, not even able to imagine what that entailed, but he chuckled nonetheless, “Yeah, of course.” 

“And I got the week of your graduation off work, just like I said I would. We can start planning our week together.”

“It won’t be enough,” Byron said. 

Ducky pulled him in closer and planted a kiss on his lips. “We’ll make it enough, right?”

Byron half closed his eyes and nodded. “Yeah,” he agreed leaning in to catch another, slightly deeper, kiss. 

“Guys, stop,” Jeff said, stumbling toward them and flopping on the blanket next to Byron. 

Byron turned his head, “How drunk are you?”

Jeff shrugged, “Pretty drunk,” he admitted. “Wha’s spring break for if you can’t get a l’il drunk?” he hiccupped. 

Ducky laughed, “Jeff you actually hiccupped. What a drunk stereotype.”

“Aw,” Jeff said, laying down with them. He looked up at the sky. “Look you can see a coupla stars tonight.” 

Byron and Ducky rolled onto their backs. “Oh yeah,” Ducky said. “That’s pretty unusual to see stars.”

“Why?” Byron asked. 

“Light pollution,” Ducky answered. “You’ve got to get away from the dense development. The further out you get, the more you can see stars.” 

“The first time in my life I saw a sky-full of stars was in Stoneybrook when I was nine,” Jeff said. He closed his eyes and smiled at the memory. “Remember Byron? We were playing flashlight tag in your backyard and I tripped over my feet looking up.” 

Byron laughed, “I remember that! Adam said you were a clutz and probably would ruin the soccer team’s chances of making it to the playoffs.” 

“I didn’t though.”

“Nah,” Byron said. “You were better than either Adam or Jordan.” 

“Was he better than you?” Ducky asked. 

Byron and Jeff laughed together. “I was not into sports,” Byron answered. “Adam and Jordan played soccer through high school and I was on Mathletes and played Dungeons and Dragons.” 

Ducky sat up quickly, “I play D&D!” 

Jeff laughed a little, then it grew until he was practically crying with laughter. “You _dorks_. That was like half the reason Dawn and I wanted you two to meet each other. How have you not talked about D&D yet?”

“This may surprise you, Jeff,” Ducky said dryly, “But people can get a little  _ judgey _ about D&D and it’s something us players have learned to keep close to the chest for a while.” 

“Uh-huh,” Jeff said, rolling his eyes. “You jumped right into bed together, but were like let’s keep a stupid game secret.” 

All three of them laughed, and Dawn and Sunny came running over and squeezed onto the blanket, “What’s so funny?” They laughed when Jeff told her. Byron wasn’t sure why it was so funny that he and Ducky both liked D&D, but he was kind of surprised to hear that Ducky liked it. He seemed so stylish and not like the stereotype of a D&D gamer. 

“Dawn!” Amalia called, running over and holding her phone out. “We're playing Jax!” 

“Jax!” Dawn jumped up and ran after Amalia and began dancing. 

“C’mon,” Ducky said, holding his hand out to Byron. “Let’s go listen and dance.” 

Amalia’s phone had been hooked up to a bigger speaker, and the synthy sounds of Jax filled the air around the dwindling bonfire. 

Byron and Ducky held hands and danced along, while Ducky talked Byron through the album, something it had been too loud to do at the concert a couple of nights prior. “This is my favorite song,” he said, as the tempo slowed. “They originally wrote it in French, which I can’t speak, but it sounds so beautiful. The translation in English is great too,” and he sang along a few bars. 

Byron watched Ducky, his boyfriend, singing along to the music while holding his hands. His body was flooded with a sudden warmth and fondness. There would be distance. There would be days when they might not get a chance to talk. He smiled as he caught Ducky’s eye. 

It’d be worth it. 


	7. Chapter 7

They slept at Dawn’s apartment that night. Jeff had graciously given up his space in the bed and bunked on Dawn’s couch so that Byron and Ducky could have the guest bed. 

Byron awoke before Ducky, and he spent a few minutes contemplating everything that had happened the week prior. He looked at Ducky, who looked so peaceful in his sleep, curled up on his side, his hair messy and hanging down his forehead. 

The past week had been a whirlwind, that was for sure. Byron hadn’t expected his spring break to go anything like it did. If you’d told him a week ago that he’d be leaving California with a long distance boyfriend, he’d have laughed in your face. Byron never really went looking for a boyfriend in Connecticut. He’d always assumed that it was something that would come along eventually. 

He’d never expected for  _ this  _ to be that eventually. 

He didn’t want to leave. He felt like he and Ducky had so much momentum, getting to know each other these past few days and he didn’t want that momentum to grind to a halt. He had to stop and think about what the pregnant lady at Chipotle had said, that the time apart had ultimately been good for her and her eventual husband. 

He was sure that if he asked around, he’d be able to find just as many people who had long-distance disasters, but he couldn't let himself think about that. No, he was going to focus on the positive. He liked Ducky a lot, and Ducky seemed to like him a lot and they would have to find a way to make it work. They would get emotionally close, and if Byron’s life brought him back to California in the future, then that would be great. And if it didn’t, then they would have to cross that bridge when they got to it. 

Ducky stirred and squinted his eyes open. “Morning,” he said. 

“Morning,” Byron said, leaning in for a quick kiss on the lips. Even something as normal as waking up next to someone seemed so much more special when it was Ducky. 

Ducky scooted over and snuggled into Byron and kissed his shoulder. “How long until you need to be at the airport.” 

Byron looked at the bedside clock. It was 9:30 a.m. “About five, maybe six, hours. Jeff’s flight leaves an hour before mine, so it’s more when he needs to be there.” 

“What should we do today?” 

Byron shrugged, “I kind of just want to hang out. It can be here or at the beach, whatever. I just want to….” he drifted off before finishing, “Be together.”

Ducky laced his fingers through Byron’s. “We can do that.” 

______

Jeff and Byron were ready to go through security. Dawn hugged them both. Ducky pulled Byron away from the crowds and toward a small nook in the wall. He kissed Byron lightly on the lips. “Call me when you get there.” 

“Of course,” Byron said. He held onto Ducky’s hand. “I hate good byes.” 

“This isn’t a goodbye,” Ducky said. “It’s an ‘until next time.’”

“Next time,” Byron nodded. 

“Your graduation,” Ducky reminded him. “It’s not that far. Oh, and I got you something,” he pulled a large envelope out of his messenger bag and handed it over. “Don’t open it now. Wait until you’re through security.” 

Byron nodded, but before he could say anything, Jeff was calling his name, “Byron. This line is long and I don’t want to miss my flight.” 

One more kiss between them, but they didn’t say anything else as Byron joined Jeff in the security line. Dawn and Ducky watched them go, inching their way through the barriers. 

They made it to Jeff’s gate a half hour before boarding. “Open the envelope!” Jeff said, more anxious than Byron to see what Ducky had given him. “Dawn told me this is what Ducky was doing while he was running errands the other day after we were at Winslow Books.” 

Byron ran his finger under the flap of the envelope and pulled a stack of papers. It took him a moment to realize what he was looking at. 

Jeff hooted with laughter. “Byron, oh my God. He is so into you.” 

Byron smiled as he looked down at the brochures. There were a few, all for graduate programs in mathematics at universities in Southern California. There was UCLA, Cal State Northridge, UC Irvine, Pepperdine, and Chapman. It was so like Ducky to have actually gone to the schools to get the brochures rather than just printing info off from the internet. Byron looked up at Jeff and grinned. 

“Well,” Jeff said. “That’s one way to get you out to California.” 

“Out of state grad school is a lot of money.” 

“Not if you move out here and get residency for a year before applying,” Jeff pointed out. 

“Maybe,” Byron murmured. 

“It’s something to think about, right?” 

“Definitely,” Byron answered. He held onto the brochures, he’d look them over on the plane. 


End file.
